I also came to the conclusion that some of it might help others, particularly teens:

“In regards to coming out, this is incredibly scary. I was terrified, and also thought I’d lose everyone that ever meant anything to me. I started with one close friend. Just one. Just someone I could trust. Parents can be very difficult, but also very surprising. Saying that, it’s not always easy, and everyone has different circumstances.

My mother was initially disappointed, but accepts me and my life, and welcomes my partner too. My family and friends love me whether I’m gay or straight. By coming out, even when it’s a scary, personal upheaval, the results are worth it. I found it made me feel more complete and balanced. I’m by no means Mr Wonderful, but it cleared up a lot of confusion and affected how I interacted with people for the better.

If you need further advice, have a look at the links below.

Avert

teenhelp.org

Also, it is worth talking to one of the helplines here: gaylifeuk“

Imagine catching a glimpse of a battered train, right in front of your face, as its spacefaring carriages hurtle past…

There is still the general belief that, in the 21st Century, Gay Rights are at a never before seen plateau. In the broader scheme of things in the West, this might be true. But let’s not forget that we started 2011 with the sentencing of two young people for the death of Ian Baynham. This was shocking enough, that the casual killing of this man by Ruby Thomas and Joel Alexander ended his life based on his sexuality. The number of hate crimes in this country are disturbing, as reported by thisislondon.co.uk, who dug a little deeper following the Ian Baynham case.

And now, as we approach the winter months in the UK, we have another brutal killing. The attack and murder is staggering in its intent. With the description of “horrible injuries” ; being tied to a lamp post and burned being presented to reporters and news agencies, it is thoroughly heartbreaking. It is also terrifying. To think that I, or my friends, could face any kind of violence of that kind – hate crime or not – scares me.

Add to that the type of mentality that leads to this determination to not only end someone’s life, but to do it is such a horrific way, it reflects on the way we’re educating those around us. I don’t think we’re on a par with the living hell that gay people have to face in countries such as Uganda. Nor do we seem to have quite the seething anti-gay belligerence of the US, which has its own shame with the horrible murder of young Matthew Shepard.

While we’re a more “forward thinking” society on paper, it’s clearly too challenging for the ignorant, or those scared by their own sexuality. We say we embrace diversity, but when it comes down to it, we’re not that accepting, not when a human life is ended so tragically. Why did Stuart Walker die? If it is for his sexuality, then that means there is an individual or group that murdered him for something that didn’t even affect them.

That’s the point. Gay, bisexual and transgender people are not a threat to society. We’re not setting out to destroy your family unit. We’re not responsible for our nation’s ills. It’s not just telling people that “gay is bad”, it’s the repeating the idea that being gay is some sort of a threat to society. Think on that. For those parents and educators and leaders, we need you to communicate some facts and deconstruct the misinformation that leads to murder.

Being gay is NOT a choice.  That’s it.  End of story.

You can discuss it until you’re blue in the face.  You can throw around statistics and research and half-arsed rhetoric over and over.  And that’s what’s happening.  Because for some reason there’s a whole bunch of people that feel threatened by gay men, by lesbians, by bisexuals and by transgender people.

My theory, which is not an original one, is that there’s something within each of these bigots that scares them.  Probably because of how they were raised, and how they think they should be perceived by the public, by congregations and by voters.   Perhaps you’re not addressing any confusion about your sexuality, but aiming it outward, attacking the people that dare to be happy with their life.

I didn’t decide I wanted to be gay.  I grew up with feelings and notions that made me feel like I was a freak, an outsider.  There were films and TV programmes that showed gay people.  I saw them and thought, “that’s not me.”  As I grew up I heard the terms “queer” and “poof” and “bender” and that gay people were a threat.

Again, I thought, “that’s not me.”

I just wanted to be normal, or whatever my teenage brain perceived that to mean.  I hated school, I had experience of bullying – and not for being gay.  I found life at school tough enough as it is, why the hell would I choose a lifestyle that would make me stand out more?  So I buried it down, too scared to open up enough and be comfortable with who I am.  Eventually I did.

If there was any choice involved in my sexuality, it was the choice to accept it and be myself.  I chose to enjoy my life and all that comes with it.  Somehow, I’m not miserable, or a victim.  I feel like I’m always having to say this, but I work and contribute to society.  Being gay is part of who I am, but it does not give anyone the right to assume things about me.

To these bigots I say that you will not denegrate me because of my sexuality.  You will not ever, ever make me believe that you can Pray the Gay away.  I don’t believe these people are necessarily (all) evil, but they’re woefully misguided.

To those teachers, politicians, church leaders and parents, please, stop turning your hate and fear and insecurity into a platform to oppress.  Listen to the words you’re saying; perhaps you will understand yourself better, and maybe understand others.

This will undoubtedly bounce in and around your perception of showbiz gossip. Your validity as a ‘personality’. Your tits, hair, make up and lifestyle.

You, without any shadow of a doubt, whatever passes for Katie Price is – in my eyes – reprehensible.

Somehow, you’ve turned your character of a glamour model, famous for sleeping her way to the top of the bottom, into a marketable commodity. We’ve always had the famous for being famous, from Nell Gwynne, Christine Keeler and beyond, but there’s something so empty about this Katie Price. She was probably quite a nice person years ago. Now it’s all about ambition.

There’s nothing wrong with ambition. It’s what gets us to make the most of ourselves and exploit out strengths. But ambition for its own sake, without any thought but the feeding of the Famous Demon? I suppose I’m being harsh. The Katie Price character, that used to be the Jordan character, is just making the most of what she’s got. Up until now, that was just tits. Now it’s tits with a full time publisher.

Katie Price frustrates me, which might be obvious from this post, and here’s why: So many times, the phrase ‘she’s a good businesswoman’ is bandied about. Is that really true? Let’s put it this way: desperation for fame + great publicist = magnificent exposure. For some reason, exposure and fame is all important to certain personalities.

This will seem like sour grapes to some, and I can see that this creation might actually start the foundation for new jobs. I still think that a vacuous ego is no foundation for a regular publication.

We’ve been together a while, and although we’ve mentioned giving each other emergency numbers before, it’s never been seen through. Until now. Until the London Riots.

Call it a riot, call it civil unrest, call it organised violence. Whatever its root cause, it’s still terrifying. I’m lucky, I don’t live in one of the major cities that’s being effected by the violence that’s spilling out on the streets. My partner and my friends are getting on with it as best they can, but I know how I’d feel; the level of vulnerability, fear, anger and disappointment would be overwhelming.

No one should have to experience violence in the streets. I’m not posting this to make political points.  I think I’m writing this to stop me thinking about it all the time. I’m sure there’s an unending list of reasons why this has happened, but all we’re left with is the destruction of property and livelihoods by opportunist mobs.

I love London.  And while there’s the city, there’s also its people. Not all mindless thugs and looters, but the real lifeblood of the populace. It seems a bit cheeky to post this because I’m not living in London, or any other city affected by the riots, but there’s good work being undertaken to help with the aftermath by following the #riotcleanup on Twitter.

So to London, Liverpool, Bristol, Birmingham, and anywhere else suffering this kind of senselessness, it seems like an anaemic thing to say, but I really do wish you well.

You will survive this.