GCA: Greetings Card Anxiety

17/06/2011 at 4:25 pm (Uncategorized)


I am fairly good with words. My vocabulary is far from complete, but it’s well-loaded. But there’s one element of modern society that is immune to my powers.

Greetings cards.

Writing in greetings cards are, to me, the solid equivalent of leaving a voicemail message. Of course, I don’t write, “uh.. um, yeah, I… urh… just wanted to say… oh, that thing? Call me back. Buh… buh… bye.” Terrible.

My lexicon of greetings card messages include old faithfuls such as:

“All the best!” (or “all the best for the future” if they’re a departing colleague)

“Good Luck!”

“Have a good one!”

I’m writing this because I was faced with a colleague’s good luck card as she’s going on maternity leave. Well, the “good luck” part was taken care of on the front. Damn. Then I opened the card to see long, lovely, personal messages of loveliness. My Hokey Trinity wasn’t going to cut it.

I completely forgot that I used to resort to doodling in cards. If you work in big offices and you write those same messages a lot, paranoia dictates it will get noticed. So I started to draw happy faces, balloons and popping champagne bottles. Why didn’t I do that? My mind was blank.

Then, I clicked the top off my pen and wrote…

“All the best.”

Well, what else could I put? “Well done on a fruitful conception”?

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