A Heart Warming Tale

18/02/2013 at 6:20 pm (Uncategorized)


I was walking home one day, when I saw a little old lady carrying her shopping. As I gained on her, I could see she was really struggling.

I asked her if she needed help.

“Oh no, dear. You see, I’m just a made up character to provide a heart-warming morality tale that’s designed to go viral all over Facebook.”

I was taken aback. “But you seem so real!”

“I know, and that’s what you’re supposed to think. This is all just a preamble to a lot of bollocks that people need to hear in the vain attempt to provide meaning in what is, in essence, a generally empty existence. In fact, this is about the point where the reader starts skimming to get to the point.”

As she carried on talking, I did indeed find my eyes glazing over, and I started to think about what I was having for dinner. So tedious was her pointless story, that I pinched my wrist to ensure I hadn’t lapsed into a coma.

“So,” concluded the little old lady, “you’re never too old to learn. Or something.”

“Wow, what an utter waste of time that was.” I said.

“Yep,” said the little old lady. “I got a million of ‘em.”

Incensed, I pushed her into a lamp post.

Annoying cow.



  1. Sue Ealding said,

    Just brilliant! Thanks Pete – antidote indeed to all the drivel I do not share on Facebook!

  2. cyberschizoid said,

    Ha ha ha ha haaaa! 🙂

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